I’m reading a book at the moment by Kay Wyma @ The MOAT Blog, called “Cleaning House – A Mom’s 12-month experiment to rid her home of youth entitlement”.
I swear she got up all inside my head and wrote everything I’ve thought since the beginning of the tween/high school years of my kids all them moons ago. It is the very first book I have ever picked up about parenting that doesn’t say wrap them in cotton wool and be nice to them even when they are screaming in your face like brats – yes I did say brats when referring to my kids.
It’s all about getting them off their lazy arses and teaching them about living in the real world, where mum doesn’t wipe their bum and blow their nose for them. They can do that for themselves, they are after all, toilet trained day and night.
Kay states a really simple fact at the very beginning of her book, we are raising the next generation to the notion that they are “GenMe“.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
It’s all. about. them.
Since the beginning of my Motherhood years I have tried to keep things on an even keel. Help them when they do need helping, make them do things themselves when they are capable. The oldest OgreBoy (who is now a nearly 20yo OgreMan) cleaned up his own things from really young… like, before he could walk young. Why not? He was able to pick up toys and hoy them across the room. He could crawl away and get something and bring it back to show me… So why couldn’t he help clean up his toys?
It was a game we played every day, a ‘race’ of sorts. He lives in a flat now, and his home is always neat and tidy. Because the ground work started young and habit eventuated from a game.
It all went to shit with the next kids. Silly me didn’t keep going with it because I was so busy with 3 young kids… then four… then five… then six… then seven… then eleven…
If I could have seen into the future, I would have done things a lot differently… I would have taught all the kids early on like I did with OgreMan.
Ogre Mum would have been a permanent fixture, not just a visitor on Saturday mornings..
Because I wasn’t Mum to the Tornadoes and The Seventh until recently, I have no idea – except what they have told me – about how things were done before they lived with me. I do know the Tornadoes are a classic example of GenMe, even at such an early age… and in all honesty, it does my head in.
So being the Ogre Mum that I am, I have been inspired by Kay to turn back the clock… And change things from me being expected to be a slave, to them taking responsibility for themselves and their possessions – the Tornadoes have never been taught what respect is, so I’m starting with possessions which I hope will carry on to naturally respecting people as well.
I am deslaving myself.
I started this about 6 months ago, but I’ve been really lax because I’m so damn busy all of the time. But reality is, if they do all the things they are capable of themselves, my workload will be cut in half. Half. My minimal 17 hour days will leave more time for happy mum, instead of stressed mum trying to bow to all the needs of all the people so as not to rock the boat.
Friday I hand delivered all their homework folders to their respective teachers with the following speech;
“Today I am hand delivering ‘insert childs name’ homework personally. I have been assured every day that all kids homework have been completed. I know for a fact that this is untrue in three cases, one has even changed the name on her unfinished homework to “Kate”, we don’t have a Kate, and I have no bloody idea who the hell Kate is! So if you have a Kate in your class, please take note of which homework folder you got “Kate’s” homework out of, it may not be Kate who didn’t finish. Also, please be aware I am all for keeping ‘insert childs name’ in at lunch times to finish unfinished homework if the need arises”.
Today we arrived at school 40 minutes late. Because I had the hide to expect the kids to make their beds and clean up the junk yards that are their rooms before we left the house. The kids thought I was joking about not leaving until their chores were done… Until I announced school had started and we still hadn’t left the house for the half hour drive to town… and then writing the real reason for them being late on their late slips at school… And then *GASP* I spoke to the guilty parties teachers, so as to have the true morning events told… not the story that makes said children victims of a slave driver – eg: Picking up ones shoes is not an acceptable request from Mum. Why do I have to pick up my own shoes when you are here to do it for me?
Reality bites. It’s going to be like an infestation of fleas around here from now on… Mum has her OgreBoots on and her bag of reality has been opened.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
The post GenMe | Say hello to Ogre Mum appeared first on The Miss Cinders.